They have mid life crisis and quarter life crisis. I think we should also have mid quarter life crisis because I think I'm in one.
I'm so confused lately of what I want to pursue. I'm not even sure whether I'm a science or humanities kind of person. Maybe I'm a little of both. Heck but I remember I kinda swore that I'll never take on Economics because JC's Economics is already super draining. And it's not even H2. But I do remember my keen interest in it initially (those sexy demand and supply curves), but I'm not really sure about it now.
Somehow I feel Economics is kinda subjective, isn't it. It's like a point of view kinda thing, cost outweighing benefits, unpredictable outcomes, unmeasurable variables,....a leap of faith, no?
Science is more concrete, yes? There's no other logical explanations unless you redefine laws and theories.
I read my 16PF (personal traits profiling) results again recently. Although they say that there are no good or bad characteristics, I personally feel that I have one of the worst lor. LOL
I feel like the whole thing is a euphemism. Reading between the lines, it's like, reading "geez, your life is going to be fucked up".
Or maybe it's the paranoia in me. Who knows. Sometimes I tend to be too far fetched in my paranoid-ness too.
So yea, I'm currently fucked up.
I haven't got the instant vavavoom euphoria that is like "yes! That's what I want to do for a living!" I've been all the Open Days, undergrad talks, but no.... I haven't found my calling.
The only time when I felt that was when I was 14 to 16 or so? Because I had this deep deep passion for arts, design, media, all in the creative realm. But somehow I do not experience that vavavoom anymore =/
I love science, yes, I really do (omfg?), but can I imagine myself to be an engineer/researcher throughout my life? Yes and no. Who knows, 10 years down the road, I'll feel the exact same thing as I did for art and economics.
Heh. Yesterday I checked the grades required to enter into NUS. They narrowed down my options really a lot. Thanks guys. A bunch of help you are. No really. Nah I'm kidding. You guys suck.
I was actually thinking of Environmental Engineering, but seesh!! It's frikin AAA/A. Walau?!?!!?
To be honest, I'm afraid of venturing into the science realm. What if I have to go dig some random lava, constantly breathe in dangerous fumes, exposed to radioactivity, etc etc etc?
Honestly, I think it's my fault that I did not take initiative to find out more of the job scope. But imma lazeyh sleazeyh
I just recently found out that Civil Engineering deals with infrastructure and stuff. All the while I thought it was stuff like community and nation building. Haha! Lynisabimbo
I'm also seriously afraid that if I become too specific, I don't land in a job on time (before I become obsolete). Heck no, I can't be a teacher. I rejected some decently-paid teaching jobs already. Smart or what.
Actually I already knew that I can't be in the teaching industry. I just can't. I don't want to be stuck in the rigid, predictable education system for life, yaknow.
I was only motivated by the pay which prompted me to apply as tutor, admin for tuition centres, blablabla. But when I actually went to the tuition centre, I shuddered. What was I thinking. I don't want to be there.
So ya, call me superficial. Call me shallow for not realising the greater good of being a teacher which is to educate the citizens for tomorrow... But it's really not what I wish to do. Ever.
Maybe next time for the extra cash. hehehehe :D So schizophrenic
Going back to the idea of having to have a profession that can land me a job easily.
Heck, yes I know that once you're damn good at any major, you're safe and will be wanted (that's what the NTU woman said). But as a typical Asian, we sure do want to play a little safe, no? Therefore we need economical degrees like doctors and lawyers wtf.
I think all this suspicions is also on the basis that I genuinely am lack of knowledge on what's out there in the world. If I have known what professions are needed in say, the tuna can industry, I wouldn't have worried that much.
So what am I destined to do in life?
No idea :(
